Back in the day when dirt was just new,
There were dinosaurs, Fear, and then there was you.
The cavemen, they marveled at the hair on your face,
But you knew eventually that you’d find your place.
At a college called Lehigh you’d make your new lair,
And swore that you’d never ever leave there.
Four years, five years, six years, and then
You stayed to feed on the youth of young men.
Fear, oh Fear, creepy, old Fear.
I can’t help but wonder why you’re still here.
I’m sorry; the elderly just aren’t that fun;
You’ve been on the composite since nineteen-ninety one.
Greasy and overly-long is your hair,
If you open your mouth, those around you beware!
When you start to speak, you just don’t shut up.
I’m praying for the other team to sink the last cup.
You show naked pictures of girls on your phone,
Probably because you’re so old and alone.
Back in the day before Lincoln was shot,
Those girls may have been considered hot.
What exactly you’re studying, nobody quite knows.
But we all wait around while our fear of you grows.
So now we’re all wondering when you’ll be finished.
Hopefully it’s before your whole life is diminished.
